To Build A Home
by WolfPackLover13
Summary: "After all that's happen to me over the last few years I still believe fate had little to do with the events in my life... everything was my doing not someone else's..." It's a "What if he fought" story with a TWIST!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok so I've been sitting on this for awhile now and I finally got a chance to edit (sort of) and publish.

Things you should know before you read:

1. This fic starts post Twilight but Pre New Moon, so basically the summer in between and therefore will change some events in following books.

2. Also Leah, Jake, Quil, and Embry are all 16 and going into their junior year of high school.

And of course I own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Prologue**

After all that's happen to me over the last few years I still believe fate had little to do with the events in my life. I made my own choices and sacrifices. I fought; cried, laughed, and loved but everything was my doing not someone else's. Yeah maybe fate and luck played some part in it all but as I look over to him, the love I have for him overwhelming me to the point when I can hardly breathe, and I can't help but be happy about the choices I made or the part that fate played because I have him and he is all that matters.

**Chapter 1**

**Leah's POV**

_I don't know how we got here. 2 months ago things were perfect you got down on one knee and I saw it all. Our future, our life together, our love for one another, it was as perfect as can be. Then you go missing for a week, a whole week and I don't see you or hear from you and when you come back I knew we were different. I felt it in my gut, nothing would ever be the same. We tried to get back on track but you were always gone, always so serious, what happened to the fun Sam I fell in love with? You're no longer him, he's replaced by this emotionless figure that I barely recognize, but I love you and I try to make this work because deep down inside I know the old Sam is still there, buried under this new one. Then when things couldn't get worse for us they do. I didn't know it at the time but the moment you saw her was the moment we lost each other. You look at her with more emotion then I've seen in weeks, I'm confused and slightly pissed about it and-_

I lean back and look at the letter, this letter I'm writing that will change everything, everything I have known for so long. I'm not ready to make this sacrifice because I'm stubborn and I can't accept defeat. But as I look over to the mirror barely recognizing myself I know a change has to be made because I'm not strong enough to hold on anymore, I need to let go, something I should've done a month ago. I closed my eyes and remember the day Sam told me the story that changed my life.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

I walked outside and sat on the porch swing, trying to block out my mom chatting about my engagement to her friends. It's the beginning of the summer school's finally out so the planning can now begin. _This is going to be a long summer, _I groan internally.

"Not even 17 and she's already engaged!" she gloated.

I rolled my eyes I guess now she can play dress up with me something she been dying to do my whole life. I've always been that tough girl, one that didn't really care about appearances, but somehow all the boys liked me. Maybe because I could kick their asses in any video game or any sport for that matter. I pretty much had all boy friends with the exception of 3 (Rachel, Rebecca, and Emily) but I only gave time to one and he wasn't even a friend, Sam Uley just came in and swooped me off my feet.

"AH-Uh" I jump at the noise and turn to see him there. I can't help but smile even though I'm mad he scared me. "Hey, you're trying to sneak up on me?" I say as I get up and wrap my arms around him. He's so hot lately, like he's got a permanent fever, it makes me worried. I pull back and look at him, hoping he's alright, studying his features trying to find the old Sam behind this new one. "You ok?" I asked. He's guarded like always like there's a secret he can't tell me. I remember when there were no secrets between us. _How did we get so far off track?_

He swallows dryly. "Yeah, come with me..." he says and takes my hand, not waiting for an answer.

We head into woods, it's very familiar to the both of us; it's where we spent most of our time together out of the watchful eyes of my father. It seems eerie and dark today even though the light creeps from the top. He finally stops at a tree and looks at me. My heart stops because his eyes say it all, but I'm afraid to even think of the words.

"Le-Le, I'm about to tell you something but you have to promise you won't tell anyone I told you this ok?" he starts taking deep breaths. I nod slowly, words not forming. "Those tales your father, Billy and Old Quil tell you about at bonfires are true." he begins. I'm confused…._what tales?_ "The ones about the wolves and the cold ones...it's all true." he answers my unspoken question. "I know because I am one...a wolf that is." he continues. He's pacing slightly my eyes are following but I'm not sure what to say. _I don't believe him, who would?_ "When I was missing a few weeks ago...that's when I turned, it took me days to even phase back and then they told me what I was. I'm the only one so far but others will be changing soon." he tells me avoiding my eyes. I shake my head . "It's true Le-Le, I swear that's why I got so big like over night, that's why my temperature is higher than yours, that's why I'm always gone." he says stepping closer to me then he takes a step back, almost like he's fighting within himself.

"Sam, why are you lying to me? Why are you so different now? Is it the engagement because I didn't ask for this?" I yell at him pointing to my ring. I don't mean to at first but I'm tired of biting my tongue, hoping he'd come around. If he's acting this way because we're engage then I'd gladly go back to the way we were before. I never wanted this to be us; I just want my Sam back.

He looks at my face as I feel the tears stream down, and sighs heavily. I never cry, and he knows this. "You have to believe me…" he whispers I shake my head angrily. _Was he listening at all? Doesn't he see how much this is putting me through?_ He huffs at my expression and takes a part of a tree and snaps it easily then digs it into his hand and drags it across.

"Sam!" I yell and close the distance between us grabbing his hand. "What's wrong with you?" I snap at him as I take my shirt off to stop the bleeding.

"Remove the shirt and see for yourself...I'm not lying." he whispers. Looking up to him I realize how serious he's being so I do it and realize that the wound is damn near healed.

"Wh-" My brows scrunch down in confusion.

"We heal fast." he mumbles looking back at me as I rub my thumb across the pink line. I place my other hand on his face feeling the heat emanated from it. Now it takes on different meaning.

I start thinking back, back to the bonfires, back to the stories they used to tell us as kids. It's easy to put it together now. Everything starts to make sense. I look back at Sam feeling horrible about my actions. "Sam" I whimper. I don't know where to begin, I don't know how to make up for the way I've acted since he first disappered. "I'm sorry" I whisper, leaning into his warmth. He just closes his eyes and places his hand over mine. For once in a very long time I see my Sam come back.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I ask after a long silence.

His eyes snap open pain written all over them as he removes himself from me and takes about 10 steps back, the new Sam returning again. I get the feeling that the worse is yet to come. He takes a couple deep breath. "There's this part about being a wolf...it's suppose to be rare but it's happened to me. It's called imprinting. It happens when you find your soul mate..." he looks down ashamed. I stay quiet in my confused state trying to sort it all out when the light bulb goes off in my head. I start putting it together; the way he looks at me, the way he looked at _her_ yesterday.

"It's not me, huh?" I cry out. He shakes his head and I collapse. I feel the life drain out of me, the rug pulled from beneath me. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I feel Sam's warm body next to me instantly his arms around me holding me close. I cling to him fiercely keeping as close as possible to me, afraid to let him go.

"Lee, I wanted it to be you. I never wanted to imprint on someone else but you. I'm going to fight it ok? I'm not going to let this take you away from me, you hear me? I love you." he says as he holds me. I nod weakly but my head reeling, my body's shaking, and my heart feels shattered. _How could she be his soulmate when he's mine?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes pop open and I take a deep breath. Sam promised to fight and he has but I'm starting to believe that you can't fight fate because everyday he looks at me my heart breaks just a little more. I hate to see the look of disappointment in his eyes, like he's hoping one day I'd be her. He physically looks in pain when he ignores the imprint and hugs me, kisses me, and tells me that he loves me and I hate to see him like this but this is his choice and I'll do whatever I have to do to be with him. I'm worried that even though were both strong we're not strong enough. Everyday his strength weakens, and my hope fades. We're killing each other by not walking the path fate wants us to. But soon something will change, it has to. Something has to give.

* * *

A/N: Ok, so I know it's different but I hope you'll give it a chance. I wanted to write something where Sam and Emily weren't the bad guys like in most Leah fics. And this is probably the way I would've written the Twilight series if I were SM so I hope you like the perspective. These chps will not be very long so the next one should be up soon. R+R please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Leah's POV**

"Leah" I hear my mom yell from downstairs. I turn away from the mirror with a sigh and put the letter away. _I'm not ready, not yet_. "…the boys are here." She says as the door to my room busts open, 4 boys tumbling in. I guess I have to count my baby brother into my group of friends now even though he's 4 years younger than me. I'm not quite sure when my friends became his friends but he wasn't so annoying when he was with us, actually I kind of like him at times, though I'd never tell him that.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" I grumble but can't help but smile at them. Embry's in first with my brother, Seth, in a head lock struggling to get out, then Jake and Quil next sprawling out on my bed, their usual spots. Seth pushes his way out of Embry's grip and gets his footing before trying to kick Embry in the head but fails and falls on the floor with a loud bang. I laugh and shake my head, noting to myself that Seth needs more karate lessons. Mom hates that I'm teaching him such violent things especially in the house when everything gets broken.

"We were hoping to catch you in your birthday suit" Quil says looking me up and down.

"Pervert." I say smacking him on the head as I sit between him and Jake.

"Eww come on guys she's my sister." Seth says in disgust as he sneakily trips Embry with the move I taught him. The boys let out a whoop as they wrestle on the floor Seth surprisingly gaining the advantage. _Sometime's I'm quite proud of the little twerp._

"Alright you two break it up." Quil says as he tries to pry Seth off Embry. Seth gets up and takes off to his room as Embry chases him.

"You ok? You look like you..." Jacob hints to me when Quil leaves the room.

I look back at him and sigh. Jake's my best friend has been for as long as I can remember he always picks up on the smallest things about me. I hate keeping secrets from him but I have to keep my promise to Sam, so I put a smile and roll my eyes. "You worry too much…" I laugh and ruffle his hair as I get up and put on a sweater. "…come on let's ditch the three stooges." I suggest and of course Jake's game, he's always up for anything which makes him the perfect partner when I'm up to no good.

I open my window and jump out to my tree, something I've done so many times in the past, too many if you ask my parents, and climb down with Jacob right behind me.

"Leah, what I tell you about that…it's dangerous to be climbing down that thing. Harry I thought you said you were going to cut that thing down." My mom says to my dad as we scurry away laughing.

* * *

The air warmer then usual here, its crisp, clean and fresh. I breathe it in greedily, tasting it on my tongue. My thoughts drift on meaningless things, less complicated things. What had been on my mind all morning was now forgotten as I feel that weight being pulled from my chest, if only temporarily.

"You ever think about living somewhere outside of La Push?" Jake asks me. We both are lying on our backs looking up at the forest top as it shields us from the rain.

I laugh at the thought of leaving La Push. It just didn't feel right to me. Even when I would go to the Makah rez for visits I missed it here. I never feel quite as relaxed as I do when I'm inside the rez. It's like a pull, but not in a bad way it's my body letting me know where I belong.

"Yeah me too." Jake says knowing what I'm thinking. "I think I'll go to college somewhere close that way I can still stay here." He says next, causing me to turning to him and cock a brow. _College?_ He looks over to me and laughs so hard I feel the vibrations underneath me. "What? We're going to be junior's this year, college should be on our brains." He shrugs.

I laughed once and turned over looking down at the water. Jacob was always the thoughtful one. He always had a plan, sometimes not always a good plan but a plan nonetheless. I just live in the present and make my choices as I go. The future, especially now, seemed to be blurry and uncertain. Living in the now was safe, less complicated. The future scared the shit of out me.

"Leah, did you hear me?" Jake said calling me to his attention. I looked over to him with an apologetic smile. He rolled his eyes. "I said we gonna stick together right. You, me, Quil and Em…we stick together like always right?" he asks, hopeful eyes. I could tell he was afraid of what might happen to us. Rachel and Rebecca both left for college 2 years ago and haven't come back, hardly ever call either. He didn't want us to be that way.

I smiled. "Of course what would you guys do without me?" I laughed and got up to put my feet in the water. "I love it here." I whispered mainly to myself as I lowered the rest of me in the small tide pool. This place was like Jake and I's special spot, though Quil, Embry and my little brother had all been here before Jake and I always came back to.

"You think they even notice we're gone?" Jacob asks jumping in next to me splashing water on his face. We were both still fully clothed but it didn't matter much to us we were gonna get wet when we walked home in the rain anyhow.

I snorted. "My brother probably still kicking Embry's ass. I swear the kid's gonna be able to give you a run for your money after a couple more lessons with me." I laughed lifting my head proudly.

He grabs my hand pulling me flush with his chest with a grin. "Yeah right. Who are you? Master Leah? You can't even take me." He says trying to tickle me. I giggle trying to get away from his grasp. I manage to turn out of his grip but ended up between rock and Jacob. "See I'm too much for you." He laughed as I put my hands up in defeat.

I relax placing my hands down onto his shoulders as his are still holding my sides. Suddenly the laughter stops and we're just looking at each other. His hands a slightly squeezing at my sides now, his body closer than before. This position is intimate but I still feel comfortable. My eyes travel down Jacob's body against my will, against all rational thought I feel myself heat up. My skin tightens, my breathing hitches, my mind's spinning as my eyes close in on his lips as he licks them invitingly. I squeeze his shoulder to pull him in closer. He steps into me more his hips meet mine for a second then he backs away.

"Did you here that?" he says looking around, his eyes narrowing in the slight darkness. I look around too realizing it's gotten a lot later than I originally thought.

Almost answering his question a howl breaks the silence of the forest causing me to jump. _I know that howl, I know it's Sam. Something's happening_. "We should get back, it's late." I say as I turn around and push myself off the rock and out the water.

Jake's hands grasped mine and I turn to look at him. "Lee…" He breathes as my eyes beg him to not say anything. I need to get home, make sure Sam's ok. I know he sees the panic in my eyes because he sighs and gets out the water and starts walking.

We walked in silence quickly back to my house. As we reached the edge of my land Jake turns and heads for his house. "See you later." He mutters as he disappears into the darkness. I force myself not be hurt about it because my worry for Sam is more important at the moment.

When I walk in the house my fear increases as I realize my dad's not here. I know if he's not here then he's out doing things to help Sam. I take a deep breath before kissing my mom goodnight and head up to see Seth. He's glued to the Nintendo DS so I just wave as I walk pass and go into my room. There in my room I realize how much things had changed for me and Sam yet so many things stayed the same. I would always care about him, be worried about him, be relieved to find him safe and unharmed and I would always love him. And I knew whether we were lovers or friends those things wouldn't change. Finally residing to my empty bed after my dad came I felt peaceful and almost self assured about the letter. _Maybe this was the right thing to do._

_

* * *

_

When I woke up it was raining again, can't say I didn't see that coming but what I didn't expect was Sam sitting at my window looking out towards rain. He looked worried and sad both features I hadn't become familiar with until after he phased. I stood up catching his eye as I made my way to him. Wrapping my arms around hadn't been so difficult before the change but it also hadn't felt as comforting as it did now. His warmth was comforting to me. I didn't look at him as I pulled away and leaned against his chest.

"Hey" I mumbled unsure as to what to say. He mutters his own hey in response. "What happened with the howl?" I whispered.

He took a deep breath, releasing it shakily causing me to look up to him questioningly. I didn't care about the stab in the heart I felt when I looked at him I needed to make sure he was alright. "Jared, he phased today." He said I felt his body shake slightly beneath mine. I shook my head as I covered my face with a groan. I couldn't believe that Jared, who I had become quite close to over the years through being with Sam, was a wolf now.

"Scared the hell out of me when all of a sudden there was a voice in my head yelling every curse word he could think of." He said with a little laugh. I sighed and looked back up to him.

"I guess it was going to happen anyways right?" I said trying to comfort him.

He nodded then sighed. I raised my brows in curiosity I knew something else was on his mind. "I told him about...about imprinting and what I decided you know and he thought about something I had almost forgotten about." He said a slight gleam in his eyes.

My heart hammers a little at his look which is all for me and no one else this time. "And what's that?" I managed to say before my breathing gets the better of me.

He smirks, probably because he can hear how much my heart is overreacting, but doesn't mention it as his face turns back to serious. "He remembered the day I told him I wanted to marry you. He said he thought I was stupid for settling down so early but he also thought that I made the choice in who I was marrying. Lee-Lee, that reminded me that I've always made the right decision in choosing you." He says his face buckling slightly at his words, but I know he means them.

I look down because I feel ripped in two; I feel my head and my heart pulling me in different directions. "Sam…" I say as I look back up to him. It was a mistake though, looking into his eyes, because I lost all reason. I forgot how bad it was between us, I forgot the pain, the fear, the emptiness I felt; because my Sam was back. He was looking at me, not through me or around me, but _at_ me like he used to. 3 years flashed before my eyes, our first kiss, our first date, when he asked me to marry him. All of it good, all of it with this Sam. "…I love you" I whispered bringing my lips to his and wrapping myself around him. That letter long forgotten about, my heartbreak temporally healed.

The night faded into day as Sam and I lay wrapped in each others arms in my bed. I couldn't say I didn't love his touch or the feel of him under me. I couldn't say that I didn't, if only for one night, think that everything had been fixed and life would go on because I did, but when the light broke through the curtains I remembered nothing had changed. I couldn't erase the fact that he was tied to my cousin, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't change that and nothing could. I finally sat up grabbing the sheet and wrapping it around me as I walked to my desk. I wanted to pull out that letter and give it to him but I couldn't, it wasn't finished and I wasn't finished fighting for him. I wanted to be that strong person everyone thought I was, but inside I was weak, tearing at the seams. I was afraid.

"Leah" Sam said from behind me. I took a deep breath and walked to his side preparing myself for what I was about to see. "I have to go. Jared still out there trying to phase back, I need to go help him." He said, the new Sam back in action. "I want to stay here, Lee but…

I nodded. "I know Sam I just…" I felt the words slipping from me, I couldn't tell him how I felt about him anymore, and I couldn't hurt him. He looked at me waiting for my response. When I didn't say anything he spoke up.

"I know it's hard but we're going to be ok. We'll pull through this; I won't let you down, Lee." He said to me in a strong voice, but eyes said something different. "When things calm down I'm going marry you and-"his voice falters, the imprint sinking its claws into him. He takes a deep breathe trying to shake it off.

I sigh and look away pretending it doesn't hurt me. "It's ok you should go. He needs you more than I do." I tell him in a flat voice. He gets up pulls his pants on and walks over to my side, pulling my face so that I have to look at him.

"I love you, you know that. I'm sorry for all this has done to you but-"

I jump up before the guilt to reach me. "Sam, I'm fine ok? Go on before my mom catches you up here." I tell him with my best smile on as I open the window.

He sighs and walks over to it. He pulls the sheet I'm wrapping in towards him to pull me closer to him as he leans down and catches my lips in surprise. "I love you, don't ever doubt that ok?" he says as he pulls away to look me in my eyes.

I just nod and kiss him one more time before pushing him out the window.

He lands on his feet, of course, with a cocky grin and then begins to run towards the forest. I watch after him for a moment as the tears that I've been keeping locked away begin to form.

* * *

**A/N: Alright there it is. Please let me know how you like it and if you have any opinions, suggestions, etc. I'm all ears. Thanks so much for my reviewers/subscribers I truly appreciate you reading my fic. Also be on the look out for Healing Chp-8, it should be out later this week! Kisses everyone and have a Happy New Year!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys sorry it's taken me so long to post it's been a crazy couple of months but I'm back now and will be posting chps 4 & 5 in a few days. **

**As we all know I OWN NOTHING...**

**

* * *

**

Leah's POV

Sam's away with Jared all the time now, teaching him how to fight, teaching him how to track, and run routes to keep our tribe safe. I hate to admit it but it's helped us, this separation. I feel better about him being out there with Jared with him, and when he comes to see me he's less stressed then before, putting less strain on our relationship. It has me thinking that maybe if I hold on a little bit longer things will change. _Maybe._

It's nearing summer's end and everyone's starting to think about school. My mom wants me to go school shopping with Emily and I don't know how many more excuses I have left. I can't see her, I just can't be faced with those feelings right now, not when things between Sam and I have eased up. Jacob's my main excuse he's the person and place I retreat to when she starts her Emily talk, and when I'm with him it all goes away. All the bad and ugly feelings swirling around me just leave me. Jacob's my rescue, he's my escape.

I head downstairs to pack my bag for the day. Another day with Jake, I can't help but smile at the thought. As I enter the living room I spot my mom on the couch surrounded by old boxes.

"Hey what are you looking at mom?" I say as I skip towards her.

She peeks over her shoulder and smiles at me. "Just old photos…come look." She says moving some boxes so I could sit. "Look at you and Jake; you guys were always attached at the hip." She sighs handing me the photo. I look at it and smile as well. Jake and I were probably 1 years old in this photo.

"Eww mom is that my old binky in Jake's mouth?" I ask pointing to the picture.

She laughed and leaned over to see. "Yeah, how do you think it became yours? You were crying so Jake took it out of his mouth and placed it in yours. You never liked another pacifier after that so Sarah just let us keep it." She laughed remembering good times, and then she sighed heavily and looked down at the picture of her and Sarah. They were best friends and I remember how hard it was on my mom when she past. It was hard on everyone.

I leaned into her shoulder and sighed myself. "I miss her too, Mom. I remember she had the softest hands and she always gave me her hair pins so I could keep the hair out my face when I played with the boys. I always lost them but she kept giving them to me. She was always so nice." I chuckled lightly.

Mom sighed. "Jacob's so much like her it's scary sometimes. She had that million dollar smile just like he does." She said softly.

I nodded and smiled thinking of Jacob's smile. "Did you think he remembers much of her?" I asked looking up at her.

She shook her head. "He was so young I don't think he remembers much. He never mentions her." She said then placed the pictures back into the box, gathering her emotions. "What are you up to today?" she asked, a small smile pulling up on her face.

I rolled my eyes. Today was my birthday I was official 17, and though I knew it was futile I had requested no one make a big deal out of it. With everything else going on in my life, turning 17 was hardly worth celebrating, but I guess to my family waking me up at midnight with a birthday cake wasn't a big deal.

"Jake wants to take me somewhere you know him it's always a surprise." I said as I grabbed some juice out the fridge and poured it into thermos. All I knew about today was that it involved some hiking.

"Well you two have fun." She said then grabbed a box and headed up stairs. She didn't even bother to mention Sam who hadn't been around much lately so I guess she had forgotten about him.

After another 20 minutes Jake came knocking on my door and we headed out. Jake drove since it was a surprise and he was sure I had never been there before. We drove, and then we hiked uphill for about 30 minutes until Jake stopped and turned to me.

"Alright, here we are" Jacob announced.

I looked around confused then he rolled his eyes and moved the brush. The view was amazing I could see so far out in the ocean, but we were still close enough to feel a slight spray of water from the waves crashing below. "Wow, this is amazing." I mumble looking down to the waves.

"I know…I'm the bestest." He grinned and sat down, his legs swinging over the edge. He grabbed a bag out his backpack and pulled out something's. "Ham and Cheese or PB&J?" he asked already holding the PB&J sandwich towards me.

I took it as I sat down. "If you knew why did you ask, smartass?" I grinned at him.

We ate and talked about school then moved onto other birthday topics like what he wanted to do for his birthday. I knew I needed to take notes because this was by far the best present given to me this year so I had to make sure mine would be just as great for him.

"Ok present time…" Jacob said digging in his bag.

"I thought this was the present…" I said looking at the view. He shrugged and continued to look through his stuff. "…Jacob Ephraim Black if you spent a dime on me I swear I'm gonna throw you off this cliff." I wagged my finger at him.

He rolled his eyes and pulled out a jewelry box. It was long like for a necklace. He handed it to me and urged me to open it. I took a deep breath stealing myself for what was inside. _It better not be some expensive…_ I opened the box and all thoughts dropped from my mind.

I picked the item out the box and held it up in wonder. The colors were vivid in the light and the weaving was intricate. It seemed too long for a bracelet yet too short for a necklace. I didn't know what it was but it was beautiful. I looked over to him in surprise.

"I figured you wouldn't like anything showy so I made an anklet." Jacob spoke up.

I looked back at the anklet smiling. "How long did it take to make it?" I asked as I stuck my foot out so he could put it on.

He chuckled in a shrug as he tied it on. He wasn't spilling the beans so I knew it had taken him a long time to make it. Once it was on I leaned up to look at it. "Perfect" he whispered with a very proud grin. I grinned back and kissed his cheek, lingering there a little longer than originally meant to.

"Thank you" I whispered in his ear hugging him tightly. "You always give me the best things, Jake." I told him honestly kissing him again and again and again. I couldn't stop I couldn't find a reason to. I pulled away slightly my lips just inches from his. "Jake" I whispered looking in his eyes. I wasn't sure what was going on maybe he knew. But he was frozen his hand still on my leg from earlier his eyes and expression unreadable.

I sighed and pulled away. Obviously I was making him uncomfortable. I turned and looked back out to the horizon closing my eyes trying to forget what just happened, and what I was feeling. After a couple minutes Jacob began to move. His hand moved up my thigh and around my waist while the other one I felt on my chin pulling my face towards him. I opened my eyes to see him smiling back at me.

"Only the best for you." He tells me. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. I was starting to get hot. I felt the lump in my throat rendering me speechless. Jacob tilted his head towards mine and I couldn't help it. The blood was rushing through my veins, my heart was beating too hard, I could barely breath so I did what felt nature to me...I tensed up. Jacob felt me tense and pulled away. He sighed and shook his head. "We should probably start getting back I'm sure other people want to spend some time with the birthday girl." He said laughing as he placed his things in the bag. I just nodded and stood up following him back home.

We got back to my place and I grabbed Jacob into a hug before he could turn away. "Thank you for everything...you made this day special." I told him squeezing him.

I pulled away to see his signature smile which gave me some relief. He kissed my forehead linger as had earlier but it felt comfortable for me like I did when we hugged. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said then walked away.

By the time I got through the birthday dinner and presents from my parents and brother it had started to rain. I looked out my window and sighed. I hope Sam wasn't out there in the rain even though I knew he was. After my shower I sat at the window pane hoping to see Sam for my birthday. I knew he had other things to worry about but he could take an hour out to wish me happy birthday right? I had this longing feeling in my gut but strangely I found myself missing Jacob. He had really made my day but I guess I shouldn't expect anything else from him. He always did something special for my birthday for as long as I could remember. I found myself playing with my new anklet, staring at it, finding new things about it I loved. I love that it was small but still had this big feeling about it. I had no doubt Jake spent more time than he lead on, on it. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Jacob spending all his free time making this. It had to be perfect so he probably re did it a couple times. I couldn't get a better friend then Jacob.

"Happy Birthday" Sam whispered in my ear. I jumped banging my head on the glass.

"Jesus…Sam!" I groaned rubbing my head with one hand while the other was balled into a fist. I wanted to smack him for scaring me.

"Oh I'm sorry I wanted to surprise you." He said looking at my fist. "You shouldn't try; it'll hurt you more than it would hurt me." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me into his hot chest. He kissed my head where I had banged it.

"I miss when you were normal." I muttered. "I used to be able to bully you a little." I chuckled into his chest.

He did too and pulled away when he realized I had calmed down. I only stepped back enough to see his lips as I stood up on my tip toes and connect mine to his. Ever since he imprinted this never felt as good as it used to, I figured that much but today it felt forced, there's were no sparks and no real emotion behind it. I felt like I was trying to get him to love me through my kiss.

"Happy Birthday Leah" he whispered against my lips his voice was barely a whisper.

This was difficult for him that was easy to see, but what wasn't easy was my tolerance for it. I felt this kick in my gut as I looked upon the pained face I had grown accustom to seeing. _Why? Why am I taking this? I don't deserve it_. I thought as my eyes lingered pass Sam and onto my desk which held that letter I wrote awhile ago. It was still unfinished, I hadn't thought about it since Jared phased. I thought things were getting better but I guess I wasn't trying to see what was there all along.

I stepped back and looked back outside to the wind. "Thank you" I said back not looking at him. I didn't even want him here anymore and I didn't know why maybe because I had this great day with Jacob and it was essentially ruined now, or maybe I was getting closer and closer to becoming ready to let go and the closer I got the more I would resent Sam, but I didn't want that. I didn't want to hate Sam, I just wanted to love him but in the right way. I didn't know how to love him anymore it had come so easy the first three years. Now everything was so screwed up.

"Hey" Sam called me to attention placing his hand on my face wiping my tears. I was so conflicted. I wanted to stay but I needed to go. My heart was torn in two.

I placed my hand on his chest meaning to keep him at arm's length but something caught my attention. "What happened?" I asked rubbing the scars on his chest.

"Jared got a piece of me." He shrugged like it was nothing.

"What?" I said a little too loud. I looked over him several times noticing more scars on his back and shoulder.

"He's having problems controlling his temper, that's all. I'm already healed." He tried to calm me. He pulled me into his lap and rubbed my arms soothingly until I was calm again.

"I thought I wouldn't see you today" I muttered looking down.

"After all that's changed I knew I couldn't miss your birthday. It's hard enough on us with everything else that's going on. I didn't want to let you down even more." He sighed.

My eyes snapped to him in shock, I damn near fell out his lap to look at him. "Sam you've never let me down. Don't ever think that. Everyday I'm amazed at your strength and your love for me. I'll never doubt you." I told him honestly feeling myself getting pulled back in but I didn't care. I never wanted Sam to think that he wasn't strong enough or that he had let me down. I was the weak one, and I was the one who would let him down.

* * *

School was in and everything was going good, I guess. Sam had another wolf in the pack by way of Paul. I wasn't sure how I felt about that because Paul had a temper everyone knew that, but on the other hand I knew Paul would protect Sam and adjust to his new life well, hell he might even enjoy it. Paul was many things but a coward was not one of them. It seemed with all the new wolves for Sam to train he had little time for me and for once I was ok with that. It gave me room to think about my future and whether or not it was with him. I was leaning towards the latter, lately. Maybe I could be ok without him, I was strong at times, and I knew my strength would be needed to get through it, but I didn't know how. I was still waiting for something, a sign maybe, that told me it was ok to go either way.

After school on Mondays I headed to my job, I guess that's what it's called. I helped Embry's mom, Neola, from time to time and received a little cash in my pocket to put away for college. That was the plan anyways. Today had been normal until I saw my dad's car drove pass the store heading to forks. _What was he doing so late in forks?_ I wondered. Then a couple minutes later I saw Jake and Billy drive in the same direction. _What the…?_

"Leah?" I heard a call behind me. I turned to see Neola on the phone. "It's your mom she says she wants you to come home there's something going on in forks." She said. I nodded and grabbed my bag as I headed out.

When I got home my mom was on the porch a slight worried look on her face. I started panicking, my mind going into places it shouldn't. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Bella, Charlie's daughter, is missing she left a note that she went for a walk with her boyfriend and she never came back. The guys went to help the search party. Your dad sent Sam and the boys to help but he wanted you home." She said in an assuring manner.

My eyes shot straight up and I thought for a minute I would faint. I knew Charlie's daughter was seeing one of the Cullen's, and who knew what they did with her. What if they killed her? It would start the war, right? And Sam would have to fight… My breath caught as I tried to stabilize myself in front of my mother who was now looking at me in a curious way. I probably looked a little green. "I'm going to go take a shower" I mumbled as I gained my footing and headed into the house.

I tried to be emotionless as I waited for some news. I tried to not go there, not think that Sam was fighting those things but I failed miserably. I let my emotions, my love for Sam get to me, in the first 2 hours I paced my porch then retired inside to pace some more, then decided to go to my room and freak out because I was obviously scarring my mother. I ripped that stupid letter into pieces thinking that I had been stupid to keep it, to have wasted time on whether or not I was suppose to be with Sam. I didn't care about that anymore; I just wanted him home safe. Sam was my first love and that would always remain the same but he was my friend and huge part of my life. If something were to happen to him I'd die.

I didn't sleep a wink until my dad came home with good news. He told us that the Cullen's had gone but Sam had found Bella in the woods unconscious. Everyone was safe. I breathed a sigh of relief and finally got into bed and closed my eyes knowing Sam was safe.

The next morning everyone was pretty quiet, the night before still having its affect. When I got to school I was surprised to see Sam and Jared standing in the lot waiting for me. I got out and walked over to them, hugging them both tightly before returning to my usually self. "I almost didn't recognize you with your shirt on." I grinned at Sam. He grinned back and leaned down to kiss my lip softly.

"Ok if you two are going to do that then I'm going to class." Jared said and stalked off.

"Hey remember what I said if you feel like it's too much…" Sam pulled away and looked over to Jared.

Jared waved him off. "Yeah, yeah I know…MOM!" he said laughing.

Sam took a deep breath as I laughed at his expression. He really did look like a mom sending her son off to school for the first time. "I'm happy you find it funny." He said with a small smile. I wasn't used to seeing him smile like that, not even before he phased. I took a minute just to enjoy it as I curled into him.

"You're in a good mood…it's good to see." I mumbled. I didn't want to loose this moment in memory so I inhaled his scent and thought of every feeling I was having, how my skin tingled at his warm touch, how legs felt like Jell-O as he caressed my back. It was all permanently stamped to memory now.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" he asked. I pulled back and considered my options. _School or Sam._ It wasn't difficult choice so I nodded and we got into his truck and headed away from the school.

"They're really gone, huh?" I asked as we drove pass town and towards the coast.

He nodded. "Searched their home…nothing." He said, placing his arm around me to pull me closer to him.

After that we didn't talk until he stopped the car. We had gone as high up as we could on this road. We got out and started walking until we got to the cliffs. He sat down and pulled me down with him. "I came here when I found out what I was. I wasn't sure if I was trying to kill myself or if I was testing my new healing abilities but I just came here and jumped." He said with a dark laugh. I looked at him in shock, he had never told me about this place before. "I didn't know what to make of it, what it all meant and how was I to protect the whole tribe and then lead the wolves that came after me. How would I lead them? I didn't want the job, or the responsibility. The super strength and hearing I would take but everything else…" he sighed and looked forward.

I could hear the waves slamming against cliff side but we were so high up the water couldn't touch us. I thought about the place Jacob had taken me for my birthday, it must've been close to this area just lower down. Both places now held a special meaning to me.

"I came to you that night…" he said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "…you were still up pacing looking out the window for me. It had been 2 weeks already and I was still missing. I looked at you and I knew that I had a job to do because I needed to protect you from it all. I got the strength to do my job because I thought about all the people that could be hurt if I didn't, you especially. Last night I realized as I looked at the Swan girl that I didn't protect you, because she was broken but her look is the same as yours. I see it all the time in your eyes. You gave me the strength but I took yours. I hurt you everyday, don't' I?" he asked.

I wasn't looking at him, because I knew I wouldn't be able to lie if I looked into his eyes. I wanted to give him piece of mind, let him know that he was doing his best and that was all I could ask for, but my mouth wouldn't move. I couldn't speak.

He sighed, thinking that my silence was confirmation and I didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. "I'm sorry and I know I keep telling you that it'll get better but I don't really know if it would." He said. I felt his warm hand pull my chin to face him. "No more empty promises because I don't want you to be like that girl was last night. I don't want to cause any more damage. I don't want you to suffer anymore." He whispered.

I nodded and whispered back an ok before leaning into him and relaxing. There was no more talk about the vampires or what would be in the future for Sam and me. We instead sat on the cliffs and laughed about old times. It was the first time since he phased that we had spent the entire day together and at the end of it he dropped me off at school and headed off to the woods to check in on the boys. I got home, got in bed and sighed. There was no doubt in my head that we had love for each other, strong love that in a normal world would be enough, but in the world that we had been dragged into love wasn't enough. There was also fate.

* * *

**A/N: So there it is. I know it's still in the grey area and nothing's really going on yet, but there are some big moves happening in the next 2 chps so stay tuned. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I own nothing of course!**

* * *

**Leah's POV**

I inhaled the scent of oil and sweat coming off of Jacob as he worked on his car. He had been underneath his rabbit for about 3 hours installing his master cylinder I bought for him on his birthday last week. _Wasn't I the best best-friend?_ I thought as I looked out the door with a smile. Everything had calmed down since the Cullen's left which I was grateful for. Sam was around more but our interactions were less intimate and more on the friendly side, while my relationship with Jacob seemed to be doing the exact opposite. It seemed like every time we were alone something would happen to get us close enough to get my heart racing but then I would pull away or Jacob would pull away. I wasn't ready for whatever was going to happen between us, but I needed him so I stayed around putting whatever I was feeling on the backburner for the sake of our friendship.

"You know it's your fault they're grounded." Jake says from under the hood.

I huffed, reliving today's events. This pervert, Chris, grabbed my butt in the hallway, like it was some kind of game. _Who does that?_ I had enough frustration in me because everything else going on that I was about to beat him senseless but Quil and Embry just had to step in.

"I told them I could handle it, it's not the first time someone's grabbed my ass." I hissed, turning my attention back to the car he was under. "But nooo they had to be knight and shining armors and come to my rescue...as if I needed rescuing." I snorted. It turned from a fight between me and Chris, to them and Chris, to me and them, resulting in us all being sent to the principles office but only Chris was suspended. Old Quil, and Neola just overreacted...well Neola did, Quil needs to be on punishment he's always fighting or looking to start one.

"Lee, you can't expected us not to react when someone put their hands on you...he's lucky I wasn't there." Jake snapped.

I laughed. "Am I supposed to go all googily eyed turn into mush now?" I rolled my eyes and leaned into the car.

He slides from underneath it and narrows his eyes at me. "You know what…" he said then yanks my hand pulling me down to the ground. Then he attacks me with his hands on my sides, tickling me.

"Ja-ake st-op" I laugh and try to kick him off of me. I managed to get my legs around him and maneuver myself on top, and began my own set of attacks. Like every other match between us we both are relentless and refused to stop until the other gives up. I locked my legs around his waist and gain the advantage. He finally gives up. I grin smugly and collapse to his side with a sigh. I wish it could always be this fun, and carefree. I feel Jake take my hand and I relax next to him. It feels so natural between us, so easy.

"You don't wear it anymore..." he mutters after a short silence. I turned to him, questioning him with my eyes. "...your ring, _his _ring. You don't wear it anymore." he said softly, tracing the finger where the ring used to be.

I looked down almost forgetting I took it off. As the months went by the ring came off my hand more and more until I only wore it when I saw Sam. When I was with Jake I didn't want to Sam's girl I wanted to be me, just me. "I don't want to wear it when I'm with you. It's doesn't feel right to wear it when I'm with you." I said, the words coming out unfiltered. _Did I just say that? Did I mean it?_

Jake looks at me seemingly asking the same questions. "Leah?" he whispers moving my hair out of my face. His hand stays there rubbing my cheek causing me to close my eyes in content.

I missed how this felt. I missed how one single movement made me feel like most love person in the world. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this good. I looked at him seeing everything I wished to see in Sam; love, respect, trust, honor, adoration. Everything I wanted was right here in front of me, not out in the woods, not tied to my cousin in some magical way, not Sam.

"Jake" I whispered as I looked into his eyes. Suddenly everything clicked together and I saw what I was meant to a long time ago. It had never been Sam everything was telling me that; the imprint, the way I felt about Jacob, everything was telling me that my soul never belonged to Sam and I had just been too blind and stubborn to see it before now. I belonged to the man in front of me and he belonged to me. I pulled myself closer allowing him to make this decision but in the same way letting him know I had made mine. He didn't pull away this time because there was no fear or uncertainty on my face I was sure this time. He pulled my face to his and softly touched his lips to mine.

Where had the time gone? I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure of the concept of time at the moment. My mind was too consumed in him. His lips were soft but strong and decisive and mine immediately caved to his. My skin tingled under his rough hands. And my mouth danced in delight of his taste. My head was spinning. He had me on his car hood my shirt was gone somewhere and so was his, my hand were buried in his long, sleek, hair and his were half way down my bra. He pinched at my nipple slightly.

"Mmm Jake" I moaned softly pulling my lips from his for some much needed air.

"Leah..." he looked me in the eyes and shook his head. "…I can't believe this is happening...I've dreamed of this my whole life." he groaned against my skin, nipping it slightly. _Wow where did he learn that_? I hummed raking my nails in his scalp. He moved back up to my lips one hand cupping my face. "I love you" he said truthfully. I looked at him for a second before we heard a creak. We both jumped slightly before turning to the door, where Quil and Embry were. Embry was there mouth wide open, while Quil just looked amusing, like he was watching a dirty movie or something. I groaned, _weren't they suppose to be on punishment_.

"Well, well, well this is what you two do when were gone..." Quil said smirking as he walked in.

"Quil, dude let's go back inside with Billy...leave them alone." Embry said, I shot him a thank you glance, then turned back to Quil who was now rubbing his chin acting like he could use his brain.

"Quil get the fuck out now, or I'll tell your mom where your porn collection is." I hissed at him. He groaned and headed out with Embry.

"Oh my god." I mumbled putting my hand over my face. I felt Jake sigh.

"I'll talk to them...they won't tell anyone, I promise." Jacob rubbed my back slightly. I looked up at him and he looked like he was trying to check his anger.

"What?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "You're worried Sam will find out." he stated. It wasn't a question which kind of pissed me off. How dare he assume that's what's wrong with me. _And Sam how could I do this to him?_

"That wasn't my first thought but since you know what I'm thinking how bout you tell me what I'm thinking now." I pushed him off of me. He narrowed his eyes.

"Well what am I suppose to think you're engaged Leah...to Sam." he placed his body in front of me.

"So?" I shot back.

"So? So...I have a right to be upset. You're just toying with my feelings, using me because you're not happy with Sam." he said back.

I slapped him. "You don't know anything, Jake. You know nothing about what I've had to suffer through, about what I really want, about how confused I am. You don't know anything." I screamed and picked up my shirt and left to go home.

* * *

It's been 2 days without Jacob, 2 days with Sam and I'm starting to loose it. Whatever I feel with Jake was just intensified by this fight. I miss him so much it hurts and Sam's eyes aren't helping anything. With each day I feel my bond with Jacob grow stronger where as my one with Sam weakens. I'm scared of what this means of what I really want and how it's going to affect everyone involved. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. The last three years have been all about Sam, I loved him with everything I had, I love him still but its different now. It has been since he changed. He's the kind of guy I should want to be with, he's fighting for me, experiencing pain every second just so that he could be with me but he doesn't love me with his all anymore, he can't and that's not his fault. He didn't have choice, but I do.

After school I head straight home, my mom calling my cell every 5 minutes so something must be up. When I pull up to my drive I realize why she's been calling me. "Shit" I curse under my breath. My gut drops, my heart races. I'm not sure if I can do this right now, I'm not prepared. After a quick pep talk I step out the car and head inside, facing my fear head on, hey I'm Leah Clearwater I don't run from anyone, or anything. When I get inside she turns and I see the face of my enemy.

"Oh Leah!" Emily shrieks and runs to me.

"Hey" I say lowly and barely return the hug back. I see my father raising a brow to that, Emily and I had always been so close. I untangle myself from her and sit down.

"I've missed you so much...last time I was here we didn't get to hang out much." she says causing me to wince. Last time she was here Sam imprinted on her. It didn't matter if I was coming to realization that Sam and I no longer were going to be together forever, it still hurt like hell to know that she had taken him from me.

I sit and listen as Emily's chats away, I'm doing my best to nod in tune with her, trying to push past the pain. "...and I ran into Sam today." she said, my head whips around to her. _WHAT THE FUCK? He saw her!_ I narrow my eyes at her as she goes on about what a nice guy he is, the glow radiating from her skin, the slight rose tint in her cheeks. _THAT FUCKING SLUT!_

"I'm out of here." I manage to say before I cut out. I saw my dad's jaw drop right before I left.

I head to the only place that made me feel better; the only person I knew could take it all away. As my feet slush in the mud and rain poured on me I begin to think about what I would say to him, how he would react, what would I do without him. All those questions could wait, I just needed to see. I push the door open. He, Embry and Quil are there working on his car. He takes one look at me and comes to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Jake" I cry out burying my head in his chest. I inhale his scent, the scent I've missed so much. Everything seems to click into place when I'm with him, giving me further affirmation that I'm making the right choice.

"Shh, it's ok. I shouldn't have acted like that. It wasn't like I didn't know what I was getting myself into." he says back. We finally break apart and I realize that Embry and Quil are gone. He pulls me to the car and I sit inside, getting myself together. Jake kneels down and lightly strokes my thigh.

"I'm breaking up with Sam, tonight." I whisper, closing my eyes at the thought.

He looks at me in shock. "Leah, I don't want to come between you guys...I-" I put my hand up to stop him.

"It was happening anyways...I just, I have to do this for everybody. Him, me, you, us. You helped me realize that I don't belong with him, if I ever did." I closed my eyes fighting the tears.

"You're serious?" he said. I nodded opening my eyes to see his reaction. He looked relieved and a little confused. "Lee, how do you feel about me?" he whispered, looking afraid of the answer.

I pull my face into a slight smile. "I love you, Jake. Always have I guess it's just taken me this long to realize that. You've always been there for me, always made me laugh, and always loved me for me. When things changed for Sam and I and I started spending more time with you, I realized that it was never Sam...it was you." I told him from the heart. "It's confusing because I still love Sam. We were together for 3 years and what happened...it wasn't our faults we just got pulled away from each other and before I knew it I loved someone else and he loved someone else. You can only fight for so long before you realize the battle was lost a long time ago." I sighed heavily.

Jacob sighed too and pulled my legs around so I was facing him. "Leah, I love you and I'll fight as hard as I can for you." he said.

I tensed a little at his statement. I shook my head. "Don't fight, ok? If we're meant to be you'll never have to fight." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him.

"We are meant to be, Leah. I know it." he voice was strong and determined. I just closed my eyes taking in this happy moment, hoping it would get me through what was to come.

* * *

After Jake's I headed home and sat on the porch. I knew Sam would come around sooner or later. He had made an effort in these last 2 days to see me everyday, so I expected him to come by. My mom and Emily were gone but my dad stayed behind for some reason, I already knew why so I made my presence known on the porch. It wasn't long before he came outside with an angry look on his face. "He told you, didn't he?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about." I played the innocent role.

"Don't lie to me young lady." he wagged his finger at me.

I huffed. "No, I wouldn't lie to you, or to mom, or to Seth but apparently you feel the need to keep things from your family." I spat back, I was still a little angry he knew and never told any of us. He sighed. "How could you, Dad? What if he hadn't told me? I'd still be in the dark about the man I love." I yelled at him, gaining more confidence as his expression turned hurtful.

He shook his head. "You know about Emily?" he asked next. That got me to sit down and shut up. I nodded. "And you still..." he began to say.

"I love him, Dad. I wanted my whole life with him. I was going to marry him." I whispered.

"Was?" my dad questioned. I looked at him and he lost the tough guy act. He came to my side and held my hand. "Oh baby girl...I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to see you hurt." he sighed.

"I know but there's things we can't control, things you can't protect me from. It's ok it's almost over." I said my voice shaking. He looked at me and shook his head. "I love him enough to let him go, daddy. You should be proud." I half smiled.

He was about to say something when Jared stepped out the trees and walked over to us. "Sam says he's on his way, Leah." he told me, his face hurt.

"You heard every word didn't you?" I whispered.

He nodded. "Werewolf hearing you know" he shrugged. My father sighed and walked back in.

"I'm proud of you, Leah." he said before closing the door.

Jared looked pissed as he looked towards the trees. "He's going to be so hurt, le-le. I don't get why..."

I cut him off. "You know the way you look at Kim?" I said looking at him. His face softened immediately. "Well I want to be looked at that way...I deserved to be looked at that way." I breathed closing my eyes and picturing Jacob's loving face as he looked at me. I knew he loved me maybe even more than Sam had.

Jared stiffened and then relaxed as Sam walked out. "I'll be in there if you need me." he mumbled before retreating inside.

Sam walked to me with a smile and then as he reached me he cupped my face and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes, pretending he was kissing me lovingly, not just because he felt like he had to. I realized that even with all this new found knowledge I was going to really miss him, I would really miss what used to be.

I pulled away first. "Sam" I whimpered, my throat closing up. _Damn, breathe Leah_.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking at my face.

I patted the seat next to me and as he sat down I turned my body towards him. I studied his face, he looked lighter, more relaxed, and happier. At first I thought it was because of me then I remembered who was in town. "You saw her today huh?" I said in a low voice. He nodded and looked down. "I can tell, you look...happier, less in pain than before." I observed. He breathed deeply. "you know when you told me that dad knew about the imprinting and he wanted you to just break up with me I was pissed. I mean how could he think that you leaving me like that wouldn't kill me, you know?" my voice cracked at the end. I felt like I was going to die either way. He nodded but looked confused. I took a deep breath. "I see why he wanted you to do it now..." I closed my eyes, praying for strength.

"Le-le?" Sam whispered, his voice unsure.

"He didn't want me to know that no matter how hard we tried, and fought it was already over." I opened my eyes and blinked away the tears. "Sam, I think it's time to face the music...we don't belong with each other, not anymore." I said he was already shaking his head.

"I'm fighting Lee-lee, it'll get better, I promise." he tried to convince me.

"No, it won't. It's killing me Sam. Every time I look in your eyes, I see nothing, you don't love me and it breaks my heart every time. Every time you kiss me I see pain on your face...I don't want my whole life to be like that." His eyes snapped up to me and for once I felt regret, like maybe I was making the wrong decision, because he looked like he was dying. _Why was I doing this? Was it the right decision? How could I hurt him when he had never hurt me?_

It would hurt us both, I knew that. Even with the feelings we had for the other person in our lives I knew it would kill us to just throw away 3 years. _3 years,_ I sighed mentally shaking my head. _3 years and now it was all gone._ I took a deep breath and brought myself back to the big picture. It would hurt now but in the future it would be ok. It had to be and I had to make him see that. "Sam, I love you so much and that's why I'm doing this. I don't want you to be in pain. I don't want you to be without your other half; you'll never be complete without her. I know in my heart that I'll always love you more but she's better for you." my cried out.

He shook his head. "No, Leah never you're who I want, who I choose. Please don't do this." he begged.

I had never seen him beg, not ever, but this had to be done. If didn't cut the cord now we would just get weaker. "But I'm not who you love the most, or who you need the most am I?" I asked. He looked at me then looked down again. "See, Sam...and I hope you love me enough to want me to have someone in my life who will love me the most, and need me the most, who sees me as their #1. I'm always going to be second best to her Sam and I don't want to feel like that anymore." my voice no longer timid, but strong.

Sam grabbed my hand. "Leah?" he whispered. I could see the anguish on his face but I stayed strong, this was best for both of us.

"We'll always be in each other lives, we'll always love each other but it'll be different now. We'll love each other the right way now." I said to him pulling myself from his hands. He just stared in shock. "I'm doing this because I love you and soon you'll see that it's the best thing for both of us, I promise you that Sam. Go to her, and be happy." I said then kissed him one last time before saying goodbye and going into the house. I kept my strong face passing dad and Jared before getting in my room and collapsing on my bed.

Outside a howl broke the silence of the night, a howl of pain. I buried my head in my pillow and screamed.

* * *

A/N: I know just when you start to actually like Sam and leah I break the two up. This is kind of my "if I was S. Meyer this is what I would do" story so this has a long way to go but I hope you stick with me on it. Thanks so much to my reviews you guys give me inspiration so please keep them coming.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Finally here is Chp 5! Thanks for sticking with me and be on the look out for a new fic going up soon.**

**I own nothing as usual. **

* * *

Leah's POV

I cried all night and even more in the morning when I finally realized what I had done. I overheard my dad tell my mom not to bother me because I had broken up with Sam. He told her not to mention it but she had this sorrow in her eyes as she spotted me coming down the stairs. I couldn't be around that look so I headed outside but as soon as looked over to the seat in which Sam sat last night I broke down again. I couldn't stop thinking of his face, of all the times he fought for me, all the times he poured his heart out for me, all the times he had been there for me. I had just thrown away 3 years of my life. I felt my dad come over to me and try to pick me off the ground but I wouldn't move. I kept saying why, why did this happen to me, why couldn't I wake up from this nightmare, why wasn't I strong enough? I did everything that I said I would end up doing. I failed Sam, I let him down, and I was the weak one. Everything he fought so hard not to be, I had become.

I didn't go to school the rest of the week and on the weekend I called in sick at work. I stayed in the house, in my room for the most part, the whole time and tried to find the strength not to cry, not to think of the bad things, it didn't work. Everything suddenly reminded me of him, even the smell of my pillows sent me into tears. I couldn't stop hearing the howl, or seeing his shocked face. And all I could do was question my decision. Maybe I had jumped the gun a little? Maybe I let what was happening between Jake and I influence my decision too much? Maybe I was wrong?

Sunday I curled myself into bed and cried relentlessly, I figured I needed to get it all out before I had to go back to school tomorrow.

"Leah" I heard from my window.

I jumped in surprise and turned to see Sam crawling through my window like he done so many times before. "Sam" I said in shock, my throat was dry from all the crying.

He took one look at me and came to my side and held me. I held onto him like it was the last time I'd ever see again, like I was falling to my death. I told him again, again, and again that I was sorry, that it was my fault and he had done nothing been good to me all this time. I told him I was the weak one and that he was better off without me.

"Leah, it's me that wasn't strong enough I should've done more, tried to figure out a way so that no one got hurt but I didn't and I left it on you to do what was right. I put it all on you Leah, and that wasn't right. You had the courage to do something I couldn't. You're the strong one, not me. You did the right thing." He said as he pulled back and wiped my eyes.

"How could it be right when it hurts so much? How could it be wrong for us to be together when I feel like I'm going to die without you?" I told him honestly. "I didn't know how much I loved you until it was over, until I heard you howl. I didn't know." I whispered.

He rocked me back and forth until I stopped sobbing. "We'll be ok, it might not seem so but we'll get better. It's not like I'm not going to see you all the time. We'll always be close, I promise and I know that's a promise I can keep." He said with a small smile.

I nodded and buried myself into his chest. My heart knew sam would keep his promise and if he would be ok then I knew I would too. The rest of the day we just layed in each others arms. I allowed myself to think as he did and be optimistic about our futures.

* * *

I knew this would be awkward, I knew there was no going around it either. As I got myself together this morning I tried to prepare myself for this moment. I thought that he would be confused but by the look on Jacob's face he knew exactly what had gone on last week and he didn't seem happy about it. I got out my car and walked over to him. I took a deep breath and waited.

"Are you ok?" He said, a slight irratation in his voice.

I didn't react to it he had all right to be upset. "Yeah...I think" I responded grimacing at the horseness of my voice. He made a face at my uncertainty but I had to be honest with him, it was the only way for us to make it.

"Lee, I didn't want you to be in pain. I didn't think-" I hugged him to shut him up.

"It doesn't really matter, Jake. I did this not only for me and sam but for me and you. It might not feel like it sometimes but it was the right decision. I know it." I told him as I pulled away but took his hand and laced it with mine.

"Ok...I believe you" he smiled a little and turned towards the school, pulling me along with him.

The rest of the day was better, still awkward moments here and there but overall better than I expected it to be.

Jacob's POV

"Almost there, baby." I said as I rubbed the new steering wheel I just installed into the rabbit. Lola, was almost ready for her big debut on the streets of La Push. Thanks to Leah's master cylinder and my luck at a local yard sale I had the two main pieces missing in my baby. I pulled myself out the car and headed to the house to wash up. We were having dinner at the Clearwaters tonight so I wanted to look my best, I hadn't seen Leah all day and I was dying to see her. I stopped short when I heard Charlie's voice from inside the house. He was around more often now.

"You know I don't know with her. She won't go live with her mother, she won't talk to me." He sighed heavily. "…she screams in her sleep like someone is killing her. I just, I don't know how to get her better." He said. I peeked in to see him sitting on the couch with Harry. You could see the stress on his face. Bella hadn't been the same since the Cullens left. I felt bad for her and I wanted her get better maybe I could help.

"Leah was like that after Sam. She cried for days, didn't eat, and barely slept. It was hard to see someone so strong break down. Even now sometimes she gets that look on her face." Harry shook his head.

"Well at least she's better now. Bella, that girl won't even try to get better." He huffed.

I leaned against the house trying not to hear the rest of their conversation, I had already heard enough. I knew Leah had a hard time when she broke up with Sam, but I thought she was over it. We were happy, right? From what harry says she isn't. I went around the back and jumped through my window to avoid going through the front. I was dying to see Leah but now it was for a different reason.

I tried to keep my cool as we ate dinner at the Clearwater home. Leah was her usual self with me around her family or anyone other than Quil and Embry. She always gave me an excuse why she didn't want us to be public and I thought it was a valid one, but maybe she didn't want Sam to know about us because she wasn't over him yet.

After dinner we excused ourselves to her room and as soon as the door close I lost my cool act. I couldn't smile anymore. I couldn't be fake and pretend that something wasn't bothering me. "Lee, do you still love Sam?" I asked. Probably wasn't the best question to start off but it was the one that was troubling me the most.

She turned in shock, like she couldn't understand what I was saying. I waited for her response but she just stood there, thinking. Thinking of a delicate way to tell she was still in love with her ex.

"Leah, answer the question?" I demanded.

At my demand her face quickly changed to anger. Should've known she didn't respond well to demands.

"So what if I do, Jake. I told you from the beginning that would always love Sam. He's a part of my life." She said stomping past me and towards the window. She looked outside and sighed. She did that a lot look to the woods like she was yearning to be out there.

"And probably going to be a part of your family." I said.

She turned to me looking like I had betrayed her. I saw a flash of pain in her face. That was the face Harry was talking about. She was hurt by Sam's relationship with her cousin even though when I originally asked about it she told me she was ok about it.

"Leah is she the reason that things between you and Sam didn't work out." I asked softly. She just turned back to the window and sighed. "Leah?" I said once I realized she was ignoring me.

"I'm not having this conversation with you and what brought this on? I thought we were happy. Why are you trying to ruin everything?" she asked.

I shook my head and stomped out the door. "Jake, wait" I heard her say but I kept walking. I stomped past our parents and Charlie and grabbed the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder while the other one pushed the door back closed. I turned to her and I almost forgot why I was angry. I couldn't be angry at her with that face. She obviously was remorseful but she had fight in her. She wanted to make this work and I couldn't care as to why at the moment.

"Please" she said, begging me with her eyes. "I can't lose you, too" she whispered as she wrapped her arms around me and brought her lips to mine. I kissed her back willingly because I knew she was trying to make a point to me. With our parents watching she wanted me to know that she didn't care if they knew. Not all my questions were answered in the moment but most of them were. She wanted me and would fight for me and that's all that mattered.

Leah's POV

_3 months later_

Heading home from Jake's was never a fun trip. I always missed him as soon as he was out my sight. Before I could reach my house Paul stops me. My original response isn't pleasant seeing as how we never got along even before he phased.

"What do you want assface?" I hiss and keep walking.

"You're in trouble Le-Le." he laughs darkly.

"It's Le-ah only people I like can call me that." I spat back still walking.

"Oh I'm offended." he pretends to be hurt, hold his hand over his heart. "Anyways I just wanted to warn you that Sam's going to be in your face tonight." he says.

I stop and look at him, to see if he's just trying to piss me off. _Damn he's serious._

"For what?" I asked a little nicer, even though I'm sure Paul had his own reasons behind telling me, I was happy he did. Being blindsided by an angry Sam wasn't something you'd get used to.

"You and Jacob Black." he states with a naughty look on his face.

_Fuck how does he know about that?_ "how-" I barely able to ask.

"Embry phased today" Paul stated, like it was nothing.

I stumbled back in shock. Embry, my best friend outside of jaccob was a wolf. Wait... "He's Makah not Quileute." I choked out.

Paul shook his head. "Tell that to his fury ass...we think it might be Sam's dad but Billy, and Quil are on the table as well." he muttered.

I shook my head burying my head in my hands Embry never knew about his dad and this is the way he finds out. I groaned. "Wait…what does Embry phasing have to do with Sam knowing about me and Jake?" I asked.

Paul looked at me like it was obvious. "He didn't know how to stop thinking things, Lee. He showed Sam you and Jake going at it on accident." he said.

I groaned again thinking of what Sam had to be thinking now. It was one thing for Embry to have told Sam, but to _show_ him. "So Sam knows it was before-"

"Yes" Paul answered before I was finished. I groaned again. "Well let's get this over with before my patrol, I don't want to miss any of it." he snickered and pulled me along.

"Glad that I could entertain you." I snapped and yanked my arm fro him stomping to my house.

I rounded the corner and there he was, Sam. He looked like he had steam coming out his ears as he spotted me. I knew what he was thinking he had acussations written all over his face. I huffed and walked to him. Remember I don't run from anyone. "You and Jake?" Sam bellowed at me as he jumped off my porch.

I square my jaw because he has no right to yell at me, we're not together anymore. By the way his looks at me it seems like he's forgotten that fact. "First off, lower your goddamn voice, my parents are in there." I snap back.

He huffed angrily. "So you left me for him, Leah. Him! You pretend to be all tore up about our break up but you couldn't wait to get back to him, huh? All that I'm doing this because I love you was bullshit." he spat at me.

I ball up my fist in anger and man I wanted to swing, but I'm not that stupid. "Listen here, Sam Uley breaking it off with you was and probably will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I. LOVE. YOU. You hear me? and it did tear me apart when I had to end it, but it was the right thing to do no matter how much it killed me to do so. Do you think I wanted that, do you think I wanted to be torn in two about loving someone else while you fought so hard to love me?" I yelled. "I didn't want have to make that choice, I didn't want to hurt you I didn't want to do it believe me, and I spent months going back and forth about it. I never wanted to make that choice I never wanted to hurt anybody, but what choice did I have. " he growled, cutting me off but I didn't flinch, I wasn't afraid of him.

"You were with him before we broke up." He countered.

"And you were with her before we broke up maybe not physically but emotionally and mentally you were hers from the moment you laid eyes on her. I never had a chance, Sam. What happened with Jake and I happened out of the blue but it had nothing to do with us." I said sincerely.

Sam huffed and started pacing. I knew he had no counter to that because I was right every time he was with me his mind and soul was with her and he just kept fighting the inevitable. "He's going to make the change soon too...he can hurt you just like I did." he whispered.

I sighed, I knew this too. Jacob seemed to get bigger every time I saw him. I knew it had already set into motion before the Cullen's left and there was no stopping it now. I also knew he could break me, just like Sam had if he imprinted on someone else but I knew all this before I decided to be with him. I had decided 3 months ago that he was worth it, just like Sam had been. "I know...but I can't let fear control me." I shrug.

"You're hoping he imprints on you." Sam states and I nod. "Leah, you're willing to take that risk?" he stops and takes my hand.

I nod again. "I love him already, Sam. It's too late to not take the chance." I whispered.

He sighs, he was such a sucker for tears. "I really hope for your sake he does, I don't want to see you hurt again." he kisses my forehead. I sigh and relax, knowing that it was going to be ok between us again. It didn't matter to us how we loved each other as long as we did. I could look at him and Emily and be happy that he found his soulmate as long as he still had room for me in his heart and one day I know he will be able to the same.

"Awwww that's it no slaps or knees to the nuts…y'all are no fun." Paul whines.

I huff and Sam steps back. "Go check on Embry." he orders and Paul runs into the brush.

"Sam, about Embry..." I start to ask.

He shakes his head. "He's pretty freaked out but I think he's more troubled that we might be related." he smirks.

I had to smile at that. "Wow a joke...I'm impressed." I nudge him with my shoulder, happy to see my Sam come out if only for a few seconds. I really missed his smile. He shrugs. "How's everything else going…you know with Emily?" I say next, feeling like I kind of have to.

He nods. "Yeah well she's doing fine, cooking for the guys and all." he tried to be nonchalant but he's eyes sparkle.

I sigh and take a step on my porch. "Look I'm sorry about yelling at you, i just-. I know it's not fair but I wasn't ready to know about that." he whispers.

I nod understandingly. "It's ok I should've told you before, I didn't know how." he nods back and turns to leave. "Sam, take care of Embry ok he's kind of my best friend." I try to smile. Sam smiles back then turns and starts running towards the trees.

* * *

**A/N: So this was kind of a tweener chp nothing big happening but it's setting up for the next couple chps. I hope you like it. Thanks to my reviewers and subscribers love you guys!**


End file.
